Excerpt from the play “Leopards and Peacocks”

Cast of Characters

DIASPORA: narrator, early 20s, non-binary gender, bilingual Tamil/Sinhalese

MEENAKSHI “Meena”: mother to Sharika and Lakshan, early 50s, Tamil, mixed-caste, east coast Ilankai Tamil accent, works at Timmy’s

SHARIKA “Shari”: oldest daughter, early 20s, hard femme 

LAKSHAN “Thambi”: younger son, late teens, longish black hair, chubby, Deaf

ANTON: Sharika’s best friend, early 20s, gay masculine, dark-skinned

TRISH: Last name Williams, Trini Dogla, Sharika’s girlfriend, late 20s, queer non-binary 

FATHIMA AUNTY: Muslim Sri Lankan, works at Tim Hortons 

 Scene 3: Cyanide Smells like Bitter Almonds

Apartment kitchen, counter covered with bowls, and giant plastic vats, smaller containers. ANTON, MEENAKSHI, SHARIKA, and FATHIMA AUNTY and TRISH are all cooking together. Everyone is chopping but MEENAKSHI who is sitting at the table directing everyone by pointing with a wooden spoon.

DIASPORA: Scene 3 Cyanide Smells like Bitter Almonds. So, this is Christmas cake prep but this scene isn’t set in December. It’s actually September. They’re late. The marinating of fruits and nuts for Christmas cake should have started in August. But then the cake disappears because all the little mice want a taste. Feast your senses on this Dickensian gathering.

MEENAKSHI: Where’s the chow chow? That’s the secret ingredient.

TRISH:  (passing her the container of chow chow, grinning) Not the rum Aunty?

MEENAKSHI: Well thank you for the rum Trish. Is it from your country, from The Gay Mountain?

TRISH: No Aunty it’s from Jamaica. If you mean the Mount Gay Rum that’s from Barbados. I’m a Trinibagonian. We mix that rum and condensed milk into ponch a crème. You’d love it.

DIASPORA: By Christmas the cake will have aged into something moody and rich.

FATHIMA AUNTY: Mm yes, the cake will become something complicated just like Sri Lanka.

DIASPORA: Full of untold stories. Hidden surprises.

SHARIKA: I love how all the “fruit” looks plastic. It’s like gemstones.

ANTON: I know right, it’s so glamourous. Why do we have to chop for hours though Aunty? Why don’t we just use a Cuisinart?

AUNTIES CHORUS: A Cuisinart HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. BOYS!!! Always looking for the easy chop.

MEENAKSHI: (Mixing the fruit and booze with her hands elbow deep in giant bowls) Anton, why don’t you come to our Xmas eve party? (Pause) A little birdie told me you might have a girlfriend you want to bring?

ANTON: I’m sort of in between girlfriends right now Aunty. (looking from TRISH to SHARIKA)

MEENAKSHI: Hmmm…I can see that. (ANTON moves from between Trish and SHARIKA)

FATHIMA AUNTY: Wallahi you must have a girlfriend! You dress so well, and you smell so fresh.

ANTON: Hmmm… (sniffing his hands) I’m always worried I smell like parripu.

SHARIKA: (rolls eyes at TRISH, she says faux invitingly) Oh yes Anton say…why don’t you bring over that girl you met on the bus today. Bring her over if she’s so important to you. You know if you’re really invested in the relationship.

MEENAKSHI: Maybe you have a girlfriend you want to bring hmmmm Shari?

SHARIKA: Excuse me?

TRISH:  (Trying to change the subject, says to SHARIKA) Hey how’s Lakshan doing?

MEENAKSHI: Still suspended.

SHARIKA: He’s not feeling well. Not even well enough for his exercises.

FATHIMA AUNTY: Exercises? Well that will make him look less girlish isn’t it?

TRISH: He’s just soft. And that’s enough to get him harassed.

SHARIKA: Listen Fathima Aunty not every man needs to be bearded, veiny and muscly ok? Stop putting those standards on everyone. That’s not even attractive…

ANTON: (under his breath) Maybe not to you…

FATHIMA AUNTY: For us the men are supposed to wear beards to look less sexy to men and women.

MEENAKSHI: Ah ha so you think we are homophonic, homotropic, I don’t know the right words. We don’t think the gays are bad people, we just don’t want our kids to be a gay, AND it’s against our religion. 

SHARIKA: And which religion is that?

In unison:

ANTON: Hinduism

FATHIMA AUNTY: Islam

MEENAKSHI: Christianity

SHARIKA: Since when is it against Hinduism to be gay?… Lord Shiva dated Lord Vishnu.

TRISH: Excuse me? They’re gods and lords?

ANTON: Well then technically they’re gaylords.

MEENAKSHI: But not gay, smarty pants Mahal, Vishnu turned into a woman to (taps fingers together) Lord Shiva.

FATHIMA AUNTY: So your Lord Vishnu was a trans?  And y’all think Lakshan is a trans… because his mustache won’t grow?

TRISH 

and SHARIKA: Leave Lakshan alone!

SHARIKA: Why are you all so crazy???? Give me that almond extract (she grabs the small bottle that ANTON is sniffing and pouring into measuring spoons) Maybe it has some cyanide left in it that I can kill myself with and escape this family.

ANTON: Ohhhhh…….bitter almonds…that’s what that smell is … I have to go outside.

SHARIKA: What’s happening da? Your eyes look cagey.

ANTON: leaves kitchen…runs back onstage where Diaspora hands him a shot of rum and a shot of almond extract. He downs both then exits.

DIASPORA: Now that’s what I call a parting shot.

SHARIKA: Amma I am going to work. Whatever you do DON’T phone bomb me with accusations ok?

MEENAKSHI: Ennadee thimira! Rude, ungrateful. A mother needs to know where her daughter is. It doesn’t matter how much you earning at your big job, and you won’t even tell me where you work. You keeping too many secrets.

MEENAKSHI approaches with her hand raised.

SHARIKA: Manda Pazhutha. I work for white people. If they see your crazy, they’ll fire me.

MEENAKSHI: Make a human rights case about mental disease then!

SHARIKA: What’s going on with you Amma?

MEENAKSHI: What is going on with you? Kissing Trish on Markham Road for Soorya Aunty to see.

SHARIKA: (speechless)

MEENAKSHI: Why so quiet now smarty pants? (to TRISH) How could you do this to me?

TRISH: Actually, I did it to Shari.

MEENA: AIYO Kadavella! (picks up a wooden spoon)

FATHIMA AUNTY: Meena put the spoon down. Maybe she is just a phase?

TRISH: I am in the room and I am not a phase.

SHARIKA: Amma, not everything is about you! Trish let’s get out of here.

SHARIKA storms out of the room, TRISH behind her.

MEENAKSHI: (yelling) Ok fine, run off to the gay mountain with that pollaathaval and don’t come back to this house!

TRISH: Aunty I’m going to go talk to her ok? Uh, sorry about the cake Aunty. (TRISH exits)

END OF SCENE