My eyes jiggle around
As everyone eats together
While I sit with myself
Eating the hastily cooked meat.
Is it my Niqab?
Or a ‘beef’ with my meat?
Maybe a conjoint effort
That drives people away.
Friends wave from far
As I eat with a humming
I wave back at them
As they continue departure.
As I ‘purify’ myself
With the cold gushing water
The eyes rest on him
Silently eating with himself.
The legs wanted to walk
But the eyes wanted to stay
As I embrace the conflict
Who could defeat the gaze?
I see him biting
A huge chunk of meat
I also wanted a bite
A bite of his lips.
The eyes got locked
As he waved a hi
I lifted my Niqab
To see with my smile.
As I walk towards him
The eyes see the plate
Smirk on my lips
As I understand solitariness.
The meat seemed juicy
His lips seemed juicier
Dehydration engulfed my soul
As I wanted a sip of him.
Astaghfirullah in my mind
But desire in my heart
As I embrace the conflict
Who could defeat fondness?
“Don’t bring lunch tomorrow”
My vocals itself smiled
He wondered at first
Only to smile at last.
As I journeyed home
The ingredients kept scrolling
My eyelids smiled over
At the wonder of Nihari.
I entered the kitchen with a chirp
As my family watched
I was dancing or cooking?
We all had the same doubt.
The evening was aromatic
As my onions turned brown
The spices had ecstasy
But the gravy seemed worried.
Wheat flour rescued me
The gravy thickened in confidence
While my sister teased
With her romantic songs.
As my meat finds its oil
I think about us both
Where we live together
Where we eat together.
The Dum Pot emerged
Long lost in the storage
My eyes shined brightly
When it touched my hands.
The art of slow cooking
Or the heart in slow cooking
Don’t know how to put it
Whatever it is, it is love.
The flame was low
But the desire was on fire
As I waited for Fajr
The clock ticked slowly.
I prayed with a crescent smile
The sunlight paid a visit
As time cooked it more
I searched for fresh corianders.
My family gathered
With plates and laughter
My sister winked a smile
“Mashallah” echoed in my home.
The food was packed
Like a child being pampered
I waved them goodbye
Feeling the food’s warmth.
The lecture felt dumb
As my fingers kept tapping
As I witnessed the butterflies
Knocking my stomach within.
My eyes brisk walked
In search of the warmth
In the ocean of unknowing
They finally found its anchor.
As he gestured to sit
I sat as close as I can
My eyes were blushing
So, I lifted the Niqab.
The lunchbox bloomed
He drowned in the spicy air
His eyes seemed hungry
So was mine.
The Khamiri roti was soft
My heart took over
I glanced at his smile
As I felt notorious.
He could eat by himself
I’ll make sure he won’t
I tore the roti smaller
So as to touch his lips.
The roti soaked the gravy
And I was soaked in love
As I felt his tender smile
Softer than soft itself.
I wanted the bite of both
But I’ll settle with food today
As I chewed the soft meat
His eyes walked with my lips.
While the world watches over
Some with disgust, some with impurity
The friends stay at distance
But my heart is with me.
Alhamdulillah in my mind
With him in my heart
As I embrace the truce
Who could defeat love?
I cherish the food
And surely my Dum Pot
My heart blossoms with fragrance
It’s a marker of my love.
Is it my Niqab?
Or a ‘beef’ with my meat?
That drives people away
So, the adorable ones stay!
Raj Krishna is an M.A Final year student in Department of History, University of Delhi. Their field of interest lies in Feminist and Gender history focusing on violence and power hierarchy. Their work also critically engages with religious discourses, examining how power, patriarchy, body and identity are constructed and contested across time.